How to Ease Breakup Pains

 Breaking up is hard to do, but even harder is easing the pain that ensues after the breaking up is done. While the passing of time is really the only remedy for a broken heart, there are little things you can do to ease the pain while the time passes. It is my hope that these tips give your heavy heart a bit of relief.

1- Feel the pain. Breathe in. Breathe out. 

Acknowledge your loss. Acknowledge your pain. The sooner you recognize your hurt, the sooner you can begin your healing process. And remember, your pain is normal and expected.

2 - Hurt now, hurt often

If you suppress, ignore or dull your pain, you delay the natural healing process. You cannot run from pain forever. If you don't experience it now, you will find it knocking on your door--and knocking you to the floor--months or even years later.

3 - Understand the stages of recovery

There are natural stages to the process of healing. While they don't necessarily occur one right after the other in a neat progression, they do tend to occur in the following order with bits of overlap: Shock and denial, anger and depression, and finally, understanding and acceptance.

4 - Nurture your body

 Rest. Move slowly. Eat well. Exercise lightly.

5 - Maintain your routine

It may be tempting to pull the covers and retreat from the world entirely, but the routine will bring comfort and structure in a time when it feels like your world is collapsing entirely. Remember, you may not have the same vigor for life as you did before the breakup. This is OK. This is normal. The empty feeling will pass.

6 - Resist the urge to rebound

Don't dive straight away into the dating scene. Wait until you are strong, energetic and feeling like your old self again.

7- Speak kindly to yourself

Don't allow your thoughts to wonder into the dark depths of, "What did I do wrong? What is wrong with me?" You did nothing wrong. There is nothing wrong with you. Remember, relationships fail more often than they succeed. You are a beautiful person experiencing a normal part of life. Experiencing loss does not make you a bad, unlovable or unworthy person.

8 - Look forward. Plan your future

What excites you? What passions have you been neglecting that you could resurrect? Maybe it's photography. Or cooking. Or sewing. Or travel. Setting goals will help you continue to move forward. It is in this forward momentum that you will find healing and eventually love again.