How to Manage a Friend's Breakup

 A messy breakup is never fun for anyone. When a close friend suffers the breakup of a romance or marriage, you may feel helpless as to what you can do to help. However, there are many ways you can assist your friend during this painful, trying time. Sometimes just being there and listening can be invaluable; at other times, you may need to be more proactive. At any rate, with a lot of compassion and understanding, there's plenty you can do.

Instructions

1 - Listen with empathy

Sometimes just having a sounding board for her out-of-control emotions is what your friend needs. There are probably many things she didn't get to say during the course of her breakup that she still needs to get out of her system.

2 - Remind him that this too shall pass

While a breakup often seems devastating in the beginning, it is possible to get on with life and still find happiness eventually. Point out the fact that after awhile, he'll be free to find the girl that really is "the one."

3 - Show up at her door with her favorite treats

A huge chocolate cake, a tub of her preferred ice cream, a hot, greasy pizza or a bag of burgers and onion rings are just some of the options when it comes to comfort food. Dive in and enjoy the goodies with her, so she won't be so worried about blowing her diet now that she's on the dating scene again.

4 - Encourage him to get out of the house

 Even if he wants to shut himself away and wallow in his grief, he still needs an occasional outing to remind him that life goes on, even after a breakup. Suggest a friendly game of basketbal, a bike ride or a long, strenuous run to get his frustrations out.

5 - Give her some space

Once you've made sure she knows you're available if she wants to talk or would like to have company, let her have some time alone to process her feelings. She may feel more comfortable having a good cry alone, rather than with an audience.

6 - Avoid offering advice or encouraging revenge

While it's only natural to take your friend's side in the breakup and think up hilarious ideas to get even with his ex, he really doesn't need to hear your advice or sinister plots. The thing that will help him most is just knowing that you're there when he needs you.

Tips & Warnings

Encourage your friend to move on after a period of time. It's not healthy to dwell inordinately long on something that can't be changed.

Do not make plans to date the other party in the breakup, no matter whether your friend says she hates him or not. It's in poor taste to pounce on her ex and will likely breakup up your friendship.